- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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