Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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