- Anti Joke

Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

i love to lick...

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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