Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Tim and Eric

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops