Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops