What did the mental patient say to the apple? Hi, my name is Chris.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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There is an elephant, a zebra, a lion, and a black man. The black man is enjoying his visit to the zoo.

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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