This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops