Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What black and has children A black man

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In your case, maybe because it is time to stop thinking so much, and begin living life, if the world cannot appreciate a wise man such as yourself, maybe that man should stop being wise, and begin being happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

the story of the two kings, bourne and brendan They were numbercrunching hardcore one night in the hills of arathi basin when the mailbrethren gave them a message from the almighty rogue of orgimar. This rogue challenged the two kings, codenames as follows: bourne (hunt cair) and brendan (worgensRsick). obviously bourne was a ret pally and brendan was a holy priest, representing the alliance faction because they dont belive in the corrupt (actual quote from J3b, "the kitty slayer tauren"). The duel would take place in the arena of hyjal, a place where heat blows from below, and sucks hard. Hyjal was once a place where the almighty druids had meetings of total epicness and made love in the flowers. Of course, taurens were very attracted to the mentally ill cows, and created j3b's character, foulmeat. When the two kings arrived, the rogue was actually in stealth, a goblin subtley rogue of vast strength and agil. His resil rating was at an astonishing 89k rating. He made n00bs spooge over their keyboards. The epic duel began when the rogue sapped both kings and ambushed bourne. Bourne legacy was hurt badly and had 15% health. Brendan's step brother came in and surprised attacked the rogue and took him to half health. his name was dalyquestsbedone. But all of a sudden, the world of azeroth was sucked in by the depths of the maelastrom of deathwing, and everyone died. All the players relogged and did it all over again. ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops