- Anti Joke

Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

Why was the baby crying? Because she had a frog nailed to her face.

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm terrible at poems. Potato.

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis dick8==D~~~~

Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops