Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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Knock, Knock ...

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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