Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Women

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

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i have a christmas tree.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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