Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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