Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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