Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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