How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops