There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Hello.

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Men's rights

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops