Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

A car walks into a bar.

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

What's worse than a gay joke? Their emotional repercussions, leading to a lack of self-esteem, which eventually drives the homosexual to commit suicide, leaving behind a now destroyed family.

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

Tim and Eric

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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