Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

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If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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