What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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