What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

CAS

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -24

hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops