You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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A train poops its pants.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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knock knock Who's there Hi, im a memeber of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Id like to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops