Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When you have read this, you've already read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats black and white? a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down +27

--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

thumb_up thumb_down +27

like most people my age. im 27

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +27

John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If youre African, why are you white?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops