Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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