How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Type better antijokes above

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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