What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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