Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops