- Anti Joke

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

Roses are Verbotten Violets are Verbotten Anti-jokes is Verbotten Everything is Verbotten boats aren't Verbotten

why was 6 afraid of 9? cause thats just gross.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

Hey its Nero7 (seriously I can go back to Nero now that all other six have been murdered) I can help myself from laughing, not because your "pimp daddy" is crying like a bitch here (I can punch his skull in with a certain arm again if you want), but because I think it was about time you told him how it is.... Okay, and because (sorry babe I dont mean you no harm) "pimp daddy" is so fitting that its funny, but hey, I fucked up by trying to get him to know you again, I might just redeem myself not by breaking no concrete with his skull, but rather by breaking his skull with concrete. Listen, you better stop using your real name (leave that to a crazy fuck like me, nobody believes its even on my birth certificate anyway (crazy ass parents these days huh?) It will all be okay, the other "Nero`s" went down the way they always wanted to, fighting for whats right, fighting for the good of their people... ...Still feel like shit, my head is not clear yet, but I have a backup plan for all my backup plans ;), I was hoping things could always be resolved peacefully, but you might have heard me talk or type about "my shadows" or "The shadows of Nero right?" Lets just say that I more than once met that fuck which walks around the hidden cameras once in a while, and that if he is the leader, he is indeed the leader of a group of spetznas that went rogue... ...Guess its time I told you, these "shadows" are a bunch of spies and assassins I trained after getting trained by a couple of our members that work for a certain... "Federal Bureau Illegal" You are right about me wanting to do the right thing, but if you had believed it was about talking about how to achieve peace and love all the time, I will have to disappoint you... As much as I once hoped that was possible today these guys are trained and proven spies and assassins, and I well, not anymore, too old, but this is worth a shot. A couple days, give or take, and ill be fine, Ill need you to decipher this message (yeah thats why it is unnecessary long sugar bear on for me) Tell my boys that "The Mr.Black needs his shadows" And give them the coordinates, and for fucks sake, do not tell them anything else, or else they will most likely come for their caller instead. If they have any questions they will call you back, its that simple... A lot of good came out of this you know, maybe this dream will soon become my vision for those that seek out the darkness again, because at this point, I bet that at least some people, will at least try respect The Last Nero again... (Let us never use that name again) Hey, ill make sure I have a backup after this backup, and I will "call you here" yeah those numbers after the phone number embedded in this message, is the day and time (AM) ill contact you again, and if things dont work out... Ill finally get to use my lighter, and lit this stick of cigar I have been keeping around for years, and have one last smoke in a boom of glory. Hey, speaking of bull, I lied to you back then, I am not 45 or whatever I said, I am 35, I just did not want you to think you where being raised by a kid back then, and in case you wonder why I never brought you back to your mom, its because I spoke with her and she was never really against the idea of your dad making a bit of coke money as long as he shared... Need to lie down for a bit, lost my contacts, so I am back to using these dorky glasses, when my Shadows call you back, please tell them to send Mr.Black some contact lenses, or a couple of field glasses, ill need them. Love ya girl, please call my wife and tell her that I love her, and that ill do my best to make it back... Sigh, for dinner or something... Just let her know again if you never hear from us again eh? Ps: If you want me to kill your father (he has lived a good life, and I made sure he lived one too good for an asshole) then send me the secret code "yes kill my "pimp" daddy. Please reply, and then its time you go to bed... Says the guy that just admitted he is four years older than you... Sorry for that...

What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

Loperson

What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

What did the Black man get after a month's worth of manual labour? A reasonable wage, that was above the national minimum wage standard which states his and everyones right to a certain amount of money

What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

What do you call a white duck? A quacker

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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