your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

who do we all like george goodburn

what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

boo

OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

My name is Jeff

What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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