How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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