- Anti Joke

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

brittney griner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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