Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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FUCK YOU

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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A American, a Brit and a Mexican decided to bet on who could tell the funniest joke. The one that won told a great joke indeed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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