Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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brittney griner

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Caramel Boing.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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zx

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops