If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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A guy says a joke. It was not funny

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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zx

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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