What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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what did the farmer do? plant

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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