So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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What comes after 23? 24.

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Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Jewwy Jewstein

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What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

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Womans baksetball...

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why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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