How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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The dewey decimal system

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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