How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Why did the basketball team from Detroit win the youth championship? Because they had a good coach amd dedicated, hard-working players.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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My parents died!

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops