your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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