What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Whose there? Person 1: Frank Person 2: Oh, hey man. Come on in.

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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What page are you on The gay page.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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