Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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ring around the rosie ... your dead

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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