Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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A train poops its pants.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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It says so on your cap.

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops