Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

thumb_up thumb_down -18

the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Coldpaly is a good band

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops