Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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Obama.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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Invisible Children Foundation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops