what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down +3

watch a i d s left

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops