What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Justin with a hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops