What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

Where's the soap?

Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

The Female Orgasm

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

women's rights

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

I'm 4 and what is this?

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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