What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Women's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops