how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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A man buys a prius

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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