I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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