retard

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

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What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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HOW DO YOU KILL A BLACK MAN? YOU DONT

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops