Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

George Bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Justin Beiber's Talent.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops