whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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How did th-A fridge.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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69

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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