To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

What is your bill about? Clinton

Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

A woman is carried out of a bar.

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

Lucas talks to mom she says hi

How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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