Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Santa isn't real

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

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What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

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why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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