Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Charlie Sheen

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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* anti-punchline

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops