Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

thumb_up thumb_down -14

She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

thumb_up thumb_down -14

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -14

jibby jobby

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops