Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops