A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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My dad

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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